Two Steps from Hell

Yep, that was my date last night.


Anyway, the girls decided to dress me all up but it didn't work. When Nathan first saw me, I saw he was nervous; more nervous than last time.

We ended up getting lost twice till we go to go to Olive Garden. It was fun and we were laughing, but it wasn't till after we left the restaurant, where I dreaded, dreaded those words.

"I don't know how to put it" my heart sunk when he said but he said say so kindly that he didn't want a relationship nor had ever been one. I almost went on a rant about my past relationship and in general but I kept my mouth shut.

On the way home, he played music from this band "Two Steps from Hell" where they do music for soundtracks like Harry Potter, Hugo, the Dark Knight, then he stopped playing to ask me a random question.

I have to admit, there were tears in my eyes on the way back to the townhouse, but he made me laugh. After dropping me off, he asked if he was seeing me tomorrow (meaning today) and I said yes,

He will see me today, but I probably won't talk to him. I cried my eyes out last night and I need to accept the fact that he doesn't like me.

Remember, guys have that on/off switch. His is off.

At least, he was kind about it. He is very kind and gentleman like, even funny. I still laugh at the times where we had fun.

But I realized something; I had my hair straightened and he liked it better; I won't straighten my hair all the time, so maybe it's a good thing we're not together.

Anyway, after crying, I prayed to the LORD for strength. What a kind God He is, because He is with always; even after death, He will be with me. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway.

I keep fortune cookies (not the actual cookie, lolz) and I know they're not real but here's what one said:

"Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better." I realize I cannot make Nathan like me; to take me out of the friendzone, but I know one day I will meet a guy who will not put me in the friendzone. I wish I knew him now but God only knows when I will meet him. It could be today, tomorrow, or not for several years.

I am excited for the next three weekends: this weekend I go home but the next two weekends are amazing!

I get to see Rachel and Stephen, yay!

LOFT winter retreat where I get to go snow tubing and get to meet new people (NO, I am NOT meeting my future husband there!)

But I take comfort in the fact I have family and friends who love me. A Savior who died for me, and a LORD who created me!

"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning" Psalm 30:5.

I pray that I can trust the LORD always and be thankful for Him even when I am happy!

Anyway, off to do stuff and just try to get more homework done!

Bye!

Faith.