The Homeless Girl/Au Revoir

Hi!

I had two strange dreams last night: one was where I was upset that the two girls upstairs were graduating and I was crying. That was random.

But this one spoke to my heart: I was running away. I don't know from what but I was in rags running in wild fields, and I was trying to steal things; at one point, I was in a house where I was going to steal and ran into an old friend where she didn't recognize me.  She was going to give me food when her husband recognize me; I ran away, then (thankfully) my alarm went off.

I realize, lately, I have been homeless. Not the physical sense; I have my parent's house and my townhouse, but emotionally and spiritually, I have been homeless. At times, I want to leave school, come back home and do school online but I don't want to move back home. I love my (semi) independence.

I realize I have a year and a half until I graduate; I will have an associate in paralegal and a bachelor's in legal studies; I will be working, hopefully living on my own.

I am closer to be going to Paris and India. Possibly Grad school.

One thing I am far away from as of now is love. I know you are probably rolling your eyes at me, but men do not fall madly in love with me like they do with my other friends.

I realize I am emotional, I get crazy, I love chocolate, I am on FB a lot but I do have a life.

Last night, I did movie night. We watched A-Team and I won at killer bunnies. Tonight is Maundy Thursday, Friday is Good Friday where we set up the flowers and go to a local restaurant and eat yummy mac & cheese.

Saturday, I work then go to Stephen's family Easter dinner

Then Sunday is Easter and work, Monday I am volunteering, Tuesday I work, Thursday I work and meet a little Darlin, then I will getting ready to go back to school.

I have done a billion things, been to a billion places, and I have a billion plans. I mean, how busy do I have to be in order to get a guy's attention? To the point where I have no time for him whatsoever?

Do I have to be busy to the point where I have no time for him at all?

At one point in my life, I won't have time for a guy; with all my post grad plans, I probably won't see my family for months at a time.

And this upcoming term, I have classes everyday and I won't be going home every weekend.

Is that not busy enough for a guy, then what is busy for a guy?

Well, I realize the guy who will love me will be someone who will love my crazy quirks, my crazy plans, and won't mind me being on FB a lot (though someone made the point that I won't be spending that much time on FB when I do meet him)

As for the spiritual, I realize lately I have not let God's grace come into my life. I have accepted Jesus into my life, but I am hard on myself and I will let mean comments bother me. I am better than I use to be; it's only people I am close that those comments hurt.

However, God created me with purpose and I have flaws. Somehow, I will give Him glory in one form or another. I feel safe and secure in His Love and when I put my confidence in Him, I feel more content with my life.

I am sooo thankful for a Christian roommate who plays worship music and is a really wonderful person. I think that will help me a lot because I have become more negative since going residential.

Tonight is the night of (in my opinion) a symbolic celebration of the Last Supper. Before Jesus was taken to the Cross. He took my place so I could go to Heaven and celebrate with Him. I wish there was a way I could thank Him that was equal to what He did for me but I am content and I am letting God's grace work in my life.

Happy Maundy Thursday y'all!

-Faith.

P.S. Au Revoir by One Republic. Homeless girl refers to me.