"Boys will boys and so will Old Men"

hi!

Before I begin, work was pretty good yesterday. Got time and a half, then told Eric I was leaving the 14th. We went to Lancaster and had a fantastic time! Today I work 5-9.

Anyway, one day while eating Chinese Food, Rachel got this fortune: "Boy will be boys and so will Old men"  at the time, we were really all confused on what the meant....but I have an interpretation on what this means.

I met a great guy online. Loves the LORD, doesn't drink, loves to read, sweet as pie, but lately, I have been noticing, whenever I ask to call, he'll do it, but it only seems to be a gentleman, not because he's romantically interested in me.

Anyway, my point is, most (not all) guys can be really immature. I have been told by guys that I am not attractive, smart, and I suck. I once had a guy lie to me about his dating policy; I've had guys where people tell me he likes me but then turns around and said "I only ever thought of you as a friend." I have had guys insulted me because my period cycle and being highly critical if I weren't on my best behavior. I have had people tell me guys lust because it's my fault. It sucks to be a girl.

When I first talked to Bobby, I was excited! Finally, a nice guy to talk about theology, books, and Jane Austen movies! However, the second time I was ready to call him, I freaked out. I realized old fears started creeping into me; maybe he's not interested, maybe he's just being an gentlemen. Then I lied to him, telling him I was busy. I later apologized, saying I did freak out.....he's forgiven me...

Society teaches us, that if the guy doesn't make the first or falls madly in love with you at first sight, then he won't do anything about it. Even though I don't like the whole guy initiative thing, if I want to marry a Christian, then I have to deal with it. 

I do have a plan in case I never get married (which might be possible if guys keep telling me what they think of me)

Anyway, I don't think I am ready to have a boyfriend. I thought I was, but I realize I need to let go of those comments, to let go of opinions, and to let go of fear. I also need to learn how to trust a guy in general.

Anyway, I'm off to exercise!

--Faith.