crazy stuff

Happy New Years' Eve!

This morning I found out my dog of thirteen years aged fourteen named Bear died. He died when he formed a blood clot. I'll miss him very much. He was a sweet, protective, and funny dog. He would protect us from harm (once I was sleep walking he stayed by my side) comforted me at times, and let kittens hang on his tail. He was truly a great dog for us. We'll miss very much, but I have of plenty of pictures! It hasn't sunk yet that he's dead. My way of grieving is making jokes. It's been a stressful Christmas and New Years' Eve, and I've lost some time devoting myself to God, but since everything has calmed, I'm going to get back on track. I'm hoping 2011 will be a good, like for the most part 2010 was. I will tell you later what happened in 2010. But I'm going to see voyage of the dawn treader, eat out with Stef, and be at her place for new years eve. Talk to you guys later! Happy New Years' Eve :)

wanderlusting.....

Hi!

Sorry about the last post. Just frustrated about the whole dating crud. I won't be anti-dating, but I won't be seeking it either. Love is content, and I'll stick to that.

Anyway, I have a burning desire to take a long car drive, and start anew somewhere else. I want to see new things, new places, and meet new people. It's driving me crazy! I'm praying where God wants me to be. I want to do paralegal stuff, but in an non-profit setting.

Praying for many opportunities to happen in His timing.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to see Voyage of the dawn treader with my friend Stef. She's pretty cool. Anyway, completely ignore the last post, and my advice is pray, pray, pray, and pray! Also I'm going to post about 1st Corinthians 13, voyage of the dawn treader, and making apple pie. I made red revelt cake with cream cheese icing. It was pretty good. God bless you guys!

Love still believes when you don't....

Bruised. I'm bruised.

Not physically, but emotionally bruised. My ego hurts. A lot. Last night I was talking to a friend who said I was desperate to find a boyfriend....I don't know. This whole dating things scares me and sickens me to death. I wish I had the security of knowing there was a guy who really liked me. For me.

People tell me all time in perfect timing, perfect guy, soul mates, and destiny, but I say none of those are true. I hate the fact there are so many games in the idea of dating....maybe I shouldn't date. Ever. Maybe God doesn't want me to date (even though it's making me cry) I have to trust Him. I see people left and right meeting their future spouses, and yes it's not perfect, but at least they have one!

Sigh....I shouldn't complain; I'm blessed with a wonderful Savior who is only one of few who likes me for me...His love never fails. My family even though we fight still love me. Friends who like me for me. I just am going to shut off any guy who wants to date me right. I'm in anti-dating mode. Tomorrow, I'm going to go see Voyage of the dawn treader, but it's with a girl, not a guy! I will refuse to date for a very long time. If God doesn't want me to date, I won't. Only if I knew what wanted me to do. But I must believe. I must have faith (not me, the Latin word for trust)

I keep thinking about 1st Corinthians 13 and Brandon Heath's song "Love never fails"

"Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you..."

what does today hold?.....

hello.

I've been thinking a lot. Since yesterday through music, tears, and prayer, I thought about how I should change my perspective. You see, I hate waiting, and I have the worst patience ever. As I have learned hate can also be fear. I'm always scared if I wait that I'll miss out on something great and fun. As the quote goes "he or she who hesitates is lost" I am working on being patient, but I don't know how it'll work. I'm scared if I am too patient I'll miss out. But I know not being patient isn't a good thing either. Patience and self-control go hand-in-hand, so, I need to learn both as Paul says in Galatians 5 which are some the fruits of the spirit. The impatience is fear I'll miss something, and possibly not trusting God. When I went to the retreat, I learned love is "content" so I need to be content with what I am blessed, and let me tell you I'm blessed with a lot.

group things, apple pie, and movies

hi, ya'll!

interesting day:

today I went to eat Chinese with CEF people. Jon, Rachel (his girlfriend, not my sister), Kourtney, Katie, Ray, Joyce, Xander, Havilah, and Chris were there. Kean could not make, but hey he's in Walt Disney world! I also invited a friend of mine. Great guy. I have to admit, I would love to date him, but he doesn't seem so interested, so, I guess friendship it is.

1. I'm only 19
2. He isn't the only guy out there
3. Maybe God doesn't want me to marry?
4. I want to marry before I'm 29, so ten years to go.
5. I want to see voyage of the dawn treader but I can't seem to find people who want to see it with me :) but I'm trying to....
   

(the dumb thing won't let me get rid of the numbers, so, that's why it's there)

I also want apple pie. I thought maybe since I'm doing anything tomorrow, I want to guess stuff to make it.

Until next time....Goodnight and God bless!

alternatives, possibilities (if I spelled that right) and apple pie...

"We can make plans, but the LORD determines our steps"-Proverbs 16:9

2011 is coming. Here's some things I would like to do for 2011

1. have a strong spiritual faith, and keep going to the Loft
2. Help out at club
3. Pray where God leads me for a job (whether CEF or secular)
   
4. transfer to another school
5. love in the way 1st Corinthians 13 challenges us to do
6. Date somebody (not just anybody) praying about that
7. Go to India

I was so bent on not coming to CEF, but when my former boss called me and gave me some alternatives I now don't know what I'm going to do. Praying about it. Speaking of CEF, tomorrow I have a get together with my former co workers except Kean who is in Florida right now. I'm sure he's having a blast.

As for dating, I really want to. I know some great, amazing guys who are so Godly, love kids, and of course make me laugh. Another list of what I want in a guy:

1. Loves the LORD
2. A best friend; someone I can talk to. I'm not into "Omg I love you" "No I love you more!" or mouchy love stories.
3. Someone who makes me smile. Of course I wouldn't mind somebody who encourages me, and has a sense of humor

Pastor Matt used those examples (second parts of 2 and 3 were mine) here are some I'm adding:

4. Must love kids. I love working with them, and thought of becoming a teacher, but I like volunteering, not so much a career thing. I would like it if he would want children too
5. open communication, honesty, and respect. sums that up
6. Helps around the house
7. Cannot drink any alcohol. I have my seizure condition which can cause another seizure if drinking alcohol. Possibly it could be passed on to my kids. But we're not sure.

Anyway, I can't wait for tomorrow and 2011! Tell you later, off for dinner, walmart, and hopefully I can convince my mom we can get apple pie at walmart :) Faith.

A passage to India....

hello!

Today was suppose to be a big snow storm, but God keeps answering my prayers to keep the snow away. Tonight is movie night at the Loft, and I want to bring it's a wonderful life and I hope to find How the Grinch stole Christmas (non animated) I'm hoping we're not watching a Christmas story; I despise that move. It is very offensive.


But the reason for the title is because I've been praying for years to go to India. Ever since I heard the story of Amy Carmichael, I just want to go to India. Amy Carmichael was pure Irish but only had brown eyes (I'm half Irish and I have blue eyes, the kind Amy wanted) and she prayed for blue but instead had brown. Amy became a missionary in India, and helped the little girls escape the Hindu temple. The girls were being sold as slaves or being used for other things. She would put coffee stuff on her skin and with the brown she would like an Indian. By God's grace, she would live in India for 55 years!!!!

But anyway, I would love to spend some there, so, if you read this. Pray for me :) Happy New Years! Faith. :D

Christmas devotional

Immanuel-"God with us"

Sorry I said this before, but it still blows my mind God is with us. Always. Never Leaves. Or Forsakes. Amen!

Anyway, I did a little devotional in the book unafraid by Francine Rivers. It talks about Mary's perspective on Jesus. My goodness this story almost made me cry! I can't imagine being the mother of Jesus. A fourteen year old girl who was not rich is going to marry another man when the Angel comes and tells her about Jesus! Then she becomes pregnant, which she could be killed and is almost broken off with Joseph (divorce their time) but she had amazing faith and probably amazing love for Jesus, the Son of God. She really inspires me to have the faith she did. She knew danger was ahead, but she obeyed! How many times have you and I seen danger and we shutter away? Even when God is with us. My goodness, I hope to the faith this young girl had.....

I am now reading 1st Corinthians 13 for guidance and now exploring the book of 1st John. I am also reading "My utmost for His highest" by Oswald Chambers. Here's something interesting to ponder from his book:

"God evident in the Flesh. This is what is so made profoundly possible for you and me through the redemption of man by Jesus Christ"

God bless and happy new year!

Merry Christmas!

Immanuel-"God with us"

It's amazing to think God is always with us. Not just in the bad times, but in the good times as well. My dad is who a pastor talked about this from Matthew. I don't know if I would have the same faith as Mary did when the Angel came to her.

Last night I read this book unafraid by Francine Rivers. The series is about the lineage of Jesus Christ and why each woman is mentioned. Tamar was married to two of three Judah's sons, and after both were killed he sent her back home. She tricked him as a prostitute and became pregnant giving birth to twins. Then comes Rahab, which I didn't read yet but I want to, she was a prostitute who believed in the LORD, and when the two spies she kept them safe from Jericho guards. Her household was safe and married Salma, and gave birth to Boaz, who married Ruth, a foreigner from Moab, an idol worship country. Her mother in law Naomi, her husband, and her sons (husband of Ruth) came to Moab because Israel was going through a famine. While living there, Naomi's husband and sons died, and because women couldn't work back Naomi was very discouraged even changing her name to "Mara" (bitterness) she decided to go home and after Ruth begged to go with her with the famous line from Ruth "Your God, my God" they went. While Ruth was working in the fields, Boaz noticed her, and Ruth became the great-grandmother of David. Bathsheba was married, slept with David, and became pregnant. David sent her husband to be killed and because of it they lost their first son. She later gave birth to Solomon, a great king. Then several centuries later, we come to Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ, which changed history.

Each book has a bible study I can study, so, I'm going to study the story of baby Jesus, Oswald Chambers "My utmost for his highest" and the book by Francine Rivers. I thought it would be appropriate, even though Christmas is a secular holiday. It's sad atheists argue that they feel excluded when they see a Christmas Tree. People should celebrate Christmas for the right reasons, but Atheists need to leave people alone!

Anyway, onto the secular side of Christmas. Helen, (who is like my grandmother) got me a leather jacket. My dear friend Elizabeth(another mother to me) got me knee socks, a fall/winter/Christmas themed pillow case, a peanut butter milk chocolate Christmas tree from Gertrude Hawk (she works there) and a nativity scene which has my name on it. Another friend, Shelley got me two snowmen which had my name in front of them. I know this sounds arrogant, but I've always loved stuff with my name on it. My sister is safely back from England and is at home. She and her fiance got me a 1930's purse from Bath, U.K. a little Jane Austen wrote when she was thirteen, a little round sugar bowl from Poland, and inside of it was a little Eiffel tower. She also got me a book written by a French Jewish woman who died in Auschwitz. My parents got me a portable CD player, ferrero rocher chocolate with Dunkin Donuts and Itunes gift cards, and chapstick (the Burt's bees) they also got me a green(!) sweater, more knee socks, and slippers. A little boy from my church got me a photo album. A little from my good news club after school program got me this: it had a cross and behind the cross said this : "Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you"

I got my dad a World war Two board game, my mom a robe, and my sister a digital photo frame with a memory card, Helen a gift certificate from Green's restaurant, Elizabeth a applebees gift certificate, and I'll probably take Shelley out for Christmas soon. I also got a white elephant gift at the Loft Retreat, which I wonder I'll do with it since I don't where cowboy hats. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder....

Today we're eating cinnamon rolls, french toast casserole, Stromboli, and maybe some healthy stuff, but I don't know about that....we're going to visit my grandmother, her brother and sister in law. I hope to visit my sister's fiance family and their eccentric neighbor George. Very nice man, but like I said eccentric....I hope to have Chinese food with my co-workers this past summer during our break, I hope to visit some friends, go to the Loft, which I'm praying it doesn't snow Monday night because we're having movie night. Life is the same as it always is....

Well, I have to say Merry Christmas! I honestly can't wait for the New Year, but that's for the blog post on New Years Day.

I will tell about my Christmas theme devotional tomorrow after church!

Until then....God bless, Merry Christmas, and to all a goodnight!

Eve's Christmas

Merry Christmas Eve!

I just got up and I wonder the stuff that goes on around Christmastime. You see, many people view Christmas differently. Some people think literally Jesus was born on Christmas but people aren't sure. All I know is, we must celebrate Jesus no matter what date. Jesus is everything.

I still struggle with the whole CEF. They show love of Jesus to the kids, but they don't seem to show it their employees or co-worker to co-worker. CEF believes in theonomy (basically a church run state) but as we've seen in history it's never worked, except in the Old testament where it was literally run by God not by man. CEF workers need to stop constantly following the rules because we're going to have a weak spot from time to time but God is there for a reason. In my opinion, God would prefer if we looked to Him for guidance, not rules.

The things that makes me laugh is when they say guys can't control themselves, which makes me laugh because that means girls are stronger than boys! Haha, I honestly want to tell somebody who believes it's always the girls' fault that, and see their expression, but I'm mature and won't.

But anyway goodbye and Merry Christmas!

it's been awhile

music: don't want to waste my life- Lecrae
book: a wrinkle in a time, the bible
mood: tired, excited

hey everybody!

it's been awhile since I've been on. Well, the summer was okay. CEF was really hard to work with my co-workers. The kids are great! But CEF seems to be too legalistic and unprofessional. They need to start reading Galatians (amazing book of the bible!) and also take professionalism 101 as a requirement. People can be obnoxious in their faith. There are many things that are unresolved because people unmovable and will not change. Someone once told you can't change the person, only yourself. However, in my opinion nothing really changes unless both people change, not just the one. Both need to make an effort on changing. But that was the summertime, and 2010 is almost over.

Right after I was done with CEF, I started going to Post high at Christ Evangelical Free Church in Strausstown. Post high is a group for people ages 18-25. It's now called Loft: Living out faith and trust, and it's been a great blessing to be there! I've grown so much there. For awhile I thought every Christian was a legalist, but there isn't any of that at the Loft. I've met some great girls there and made some great friendships there. We had our first coffeehouse where we had a musician come in, and it went really well. I went on their retreat this past weekend, and it was great! I got to make breakfast, which was a lot of fun, play different games, went swimming and in the hottub. I also saw the most beautiful sunrise in my life. But the most important thing I learned was to really love people, and to follow 1st Corinthians 13, and I also learned to be careful what type of white elephant gift to get (I got a cowboy hat, which I don't wear hats....) I also piled on one bus seat with six other people, which was funny :D

I've also been attending community college, which was okay. Ugg, I'm never taking Spanish again....I also am applying to Kutztown and Central Penn College, to become a paralegal or a related field. I hope to be married anywhere from sometime after college to the age of 29. I hope to have two boys and two girls and raised them to love Jesus as much as I do. I hope to also find a good church with great biblical teaching (mine is great, but I mean after marrying and what not...)

I also want to go to India badly! Praying Praying Praying


Thanksgiving was great. We went down to Helen (who is like my grandmother I've never had) granddaughter's house and we always have a good time. Josh apologized to me which we've now become friends.

As for dating...umm, well, I'm praying about that....

Christmas shopping is almost done (need to get Stephen's gift yet) but I'm pretty excited Christmas is almost here.

Rachel studied abroad in England this fall semester. She got to go to Bath, Wales (where Stephen proposed to her!) Scotland, Poland, France, and Iceland. She had some trouble coming home because of the weather but God answered our prayers and they came home last night.

Healthwise, I'm doing pretty well. My doctor wanted to take me off, but he left so I've yet to meet the lady doctor and I also don't want to give up driving or swimming

Mom is now the assistant manager at a gas station and man, a psych major would win prizes for working there because the people watching is amazing....

Dad is still a pastor and has been preaching for twenty years!

Rachel is a senior in college and is doing well. Stephen is also doing well.

Blackie (my big fat cat) has been having health problems and we found she had a tumor in her throat. For many years, we did not understand why she had bad breath....

Bear (our dog) limps, but he's okay

Princess (another kitty) is doing well

Well, that's all I can think of but Merry Christmas to everybody and here's a favourite line from a favourite hymn of mine called what child is this?"

"This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
The Babe, the Son of Mary"

God bless and Merry Christmas!

Love, Faith.