Heart of Courage

hey!

So, it's the last week of school. I got an 98% on my mock mediation, an 100% on my Criminal Law presentation, and am doing well in the other classes.

So, after the ADR final, I am officially done with school for two weeks.

However, while I am happy about schoolwork, going to see friends on break, and working more, I am disappointed with the college experience.

While I love the fact I have a pretty good roommate, live in an townhouse, have great classes, the people here are sucky.

I cannot find peace anywhere in this school. People are constantly complaining about anything and everything!

Even though you'd think it could be private with a townhouse, it really isn't. Avril's friends are really loud and obnoxious who don't really ask "hey, are you okay with this?" For instance, my late night fight with her one friend resulting me in leaving at 2am.

Even now, they're in our living talking like it's their house. Thankfully, Avril's friend Byron leaves for Croatia. Even though he's a Christian, he drives me nuts!

As for Nate and Dave. All they do is criticize me, call me woman (only Dave does) and make stereotypical comments. They also think it's okay to call people the N-Word!

I have asked Dave over and over again to stop calling me woman but he won't.

So, I'm done with them. Nate will probably not even bother with me. And I'm hoping to have healthy friend relationships with guys.

But anyway, I am excited to take a break studying, continue with training, working, and seeing my true friends. Friends who love me and don't correct everything I say.

Night!

Faith.

PS. Title from Two Steps From Hell.

1st Corinthians 13:7

I was told I'm not pretty tonight.

By a Christian guy.

At first, I was okay but then I balled.

But I realized why I wanted a boyfriend.

It wasn't to fill a void. Only Christ can. Not for people to stop bugging me because people would be like "hey, when are you getting married?!"

It goes back to being 13.

Starting at 13, I volunteered with CEF, where I was exposed to guys. But not in the most positive light.

True they were joking but through the years, they went too harsh.

They made fun of me anyway possible including my menstrual cycles and love of chocolate.

Then came the Christian groups where guys would barely acknowledge my existence.

Then I had two guys lie to me: one about his anti-dating group policy (he ended up with a girl from that group) and another who told me he was not looking for dating (had a profile online)

So, coming to college (residential school) I had high hopes...dashed.

Tonight, it all came crashing down....

But after crying about it, I had an overwhelming peace.....probably from the LORD.

Things have become clearer, less chaotic.

Love is a wonderful thing. God's love is the best. I always forget about it but I know He loves me.

He does! Jesus does love me! He loves because the Bible told me so!

Let a kids song humble you tonight. Let God's love in because I can you, it's wonderful!

I am praying I will trust Him even when things are going smoothly (which career wise is) so I pray I always His Love is amazing!

Thank You Lord for Your Love! Thank You for all Your blessings!

His Love is never ending and I pray I know it at all times!

Goodnight everyone! So excited to see my friends tomorrow!

Love, Faith.

Becoming my own....being part of Christ....

hi!

After people telling what I should want or not want! (talking about all areas) I am becoming my own person!

So, how am I?

Hopefully over break, I will do something cooking.

As of now, I take care of my own bills, my dishes, grocery shopping, and laundry.

So, no more lecturing; I will make mistakes but hopefully with prayer and guidance from the LORD, I hope to stay strong.

I love my family, but sometimes, they still treat me like a child.

I won't put up with it anymore. No, sir (ma'am lol!) None of this stuff!

I realize Christ is my Identity (thanks Lecrae!) and He is the true source of everything; contentment, happiness, joy, and being complete.

No other human can do that.

When I'm alone, I'm not. Jesus is there with me always.

I need to remember that but it can be hard sometimes. But I'm hoping my love for the LORD grows!

I realize with all the advice in the world when it comes to relationships and being a grown up, I think I need to experience it first.

As for being ready for stuff (married couple stuff) that will have to wait (to talk about) till my fiance and I decide to talk about it. My sissy wants me to be prepared for something I have never done. Which is like preparing me for my driver's test without ANY experience.

So, somethings in life (college, driving, married life, kids) you have to experience. No matter how much I play with kids, I'm not ready to be a mom. I could have all the experience but not be 100%. I don't think every future parent is!

So, I have learned: somethings you do in life you have to do with faith. And life happens, but God's always in control.

Okay, folks. No perverted stuff intended!

Night.

Faith.

Book Review to follow tomorrow.....

I'm the wild one....and books.

heyy!

Well, I'm back at school, things are resolved with Avril. Still need to talk to Dave & Nate about things.

Anyways, I am excited for the great adventures in my life.

Hoping to learn more during my break including book shelf making.

I know it will take lots of work but I'm hoping I can start creating book shelves like the Batman one on Buzz Feed.

That's an awesome. If I could work for them, writing articles about books.

I'd love to write reviews on Books. If I could write, lol.

Which is why I want to have posts about books without revealing spoilers.

First one: "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak.

Stars: 5XXXXXXXX

The book is about a young girl who lives in Nazi Germany and of course, steals books.

In my opinion, there is a strong message about education and reading. I believe Nazi Germany was the way it was because of ignorance. I think the book burning was a horrible thing to do.

I highly recommend it. They're making a movie about it and I hope it is as great as the movie!

I know short, but I'm hoping for the reviews to become better.

Anyway, I would love to freelance for...anything one day!

Also, I'm looking to work for an Intellectual Property Internship.

Hopefully, it works out!

Well, Good night ya'll!

Faith.

"Live your dreams...."

heyy!

Well, things have been crazy lately and they're going to get crazier especially with the next two weeks of the end of the term coming up!

Soooo excited for break.

Relaxin', workin', and hangin' with the friends :)

Anyway, I have a question for meself.

Am I emotionally immature?

Because another Christian couple, only dated for a year, only in their sophomore year of college, are now engaged.

I am happy for them, but for myself, I wonder: am I too immature?

I will admit, I can be.

For instance, I drove home at 2am Saturday night because my roommate's friend who was sleeping over refused to turn off the TV and it was 1:30am.

I had a stressful day and wanted to sleep. I even tried to sleep with the TV on but couldn't.

So, I grabbed my stuff and hit the road.

Yep. I was nuts, totally crazy, but again, I was happy to be home.

I am not the best arguer, I don't have the best eye contact, and I let my shyness take over.

But God has created me for type of purpose.

When  I was at an interview for a volunteer spot/potential internship next summer, I didn't think about dating.  I just thought of the awesome opportunities that was in store.

But now, my work schedule is acting up. Praying it works out because this would be great to do for school!

So, when I have purpose, I don't soo sad. Just when I go through the same mundane stuff everyday. School & Work, that's when I get lonely.

I know God's plans for me are awesome; they're just waiting to happen.

I think once I'm settled on my own and have my own church, I think things will be great!

For the time being, I hope to do more adultish things. I hope to learn more and not freak out as much.

I'm working on my vibes too. Especially the relationships.

I'm going to try create a goal list of doing stuff before being in a relationship so I can keep myself busy.

There's probably someone out there for me. Probably like most men I know, he's not looking.

Which, I shouldn't be doing; I confuse myself.

But I am going to go full steam ahead, trying to find more girlfriends on campus to hang out with; nicer people anyway since Dave and Nate are driving me nuts.

So, off to bed, but things I want to do before I'm in a relationship:

Visit 90% of the states
Go to a Europe Country
Go to a fancy bookstore
Or a fancy library
Learn to build book shelves
Live in a city
Have a funky apartment
A loft bed would be nice
An overseas missions trip
India.
See every Hitchcock movie
Watch most Bogart, Bacall, Stewart, and Grant movies.
Own a mini cooper. And a motorcycle.
Sit in an Dancing with the Stars show.
Learn to dance.
Publish a book.
Be able to take care of myself 100% like guys can do.
Be my own person.

Nate treated me like an inferior human being has made me realize I am going to stop looking for a guy. Especially his type.

So, I'm following the LORD's, and following my dreams.

Night!

Faith.

"Live your dreams..."-All or Nothing by Athena Cage.