crazy stuff

Happy New Years' Eve!

This morning I found out my dog of thirteen years aged fourteen named Bear died. He died when he formed a blood clot. I'll miss him very much. He was a sweet, protective, and funny dog. He would protect us from harm (once I was sleep walking he stayed by my side) comforted me at times, and let kittens hang on his tail. He was truly a great dog for us. We'll miss very much, but I have of plenty of pictures! It hasn't sunk yet that he's dead. My way of grieving is making jokes. It's been a stressful Christmas and New Years' Eve, and I've lost some time devoting myself to God, but since everything has calmed, I'm going to get back on track. I'm hoping 2011 will be a good, like for the most part 2010 was. I will tell you later what happened in 2010. But I'm going to see voyage of the dawn treader, eat out with Stef, and be at her place for new years eve. Talk to you guys later! Happy New Years' Eve :)

wanderlusting.....

Hi!

Sorry about the last post. Just frustrated about the whole dating crud. I won't be anti-dating, but I won't be seeking it either. Love is content, and I'll stick to that.

Anyway, I have a burning desire to take a long car drive, and start anew somewhere else. I want to see new things, new places, and meet new people. It's driving me crazy! I'm praying where God wants me to be. I want to do paralegal stuff, but in an non-profit setting.

Praying for many opportunities to happen in His timing.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to see Voyage of the dawn treader with my friend Stef. She's pretty cool. Anyway, completely ignore the last post, and my advice is pray, pray, pray, and pray! Also I'm going to post about 1st Corinthians 13, voyage of the dawn treader, and making apple pie. I made red revelt cake with cream cheese icing. It was pretty good. God bless you guys!

Love still believes when you don't....

Bruised. I'm bruised.

Not physically, but emotionally bruised. My ego hurts. A lot. Last night I was talking to a friend who said I was desperate to find a boyfriend....I don't know. This whole dating things scares me and sickens me to death. I wish I had the security of knowing there was a guy who really liked me. For me.

People tell me all time in perfect timing, perfect guy, soul mates, and destiny, but I say none of those are true. I hate the fact there are so many games in the idea of dating....maybe I shouldn't date. Ever. Maybe God doesn't want me to date (even though it's making me cry) I have to trust Him. I see people left and right meeting their future spouses, and yes it's not perfect, but at least they have one!

Sigh....I shouldn't complain; I'm blessed with a wonderful Savior who is only one of few who likes me for me...His love never fails. My family even though we fight still love me. Friends who like me for me. I just am going to shut off any guy who wants to date me right. I'm in anti-dating mode. Tomorrow, I'm going to go see Voyage of the dawn treader, but it's with a girl, not a guy! I will refuse to date for a very long time. If God doesn't want me to date, I won't. Only if I knew what wanted me to do. But I must believe. I must have faith (not me, the Latin word for trust)

I keep thinking about 1st Corinthians 13 and Brandon Heath's song "Love never fails"

"Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you..."

what does today hold?.....

hello.

I've been thinking a lot. Since yesterday through music, tears, and prayer, I thought about how I should change my perspective. You see, I hate waiting, and I have the worst patience ever. As I have learned hate can also be fear. I'm always scared if I wait that I'll miss out on something great and fun. As the quote goes "he or she who hesitates is lost" I am working on being patient, but I don't know how it'll work. I'm scared if I am too patient I'll miss out. But I know not being patient isn't a good thing either. Patience and self-control go hand-in-hand, so, I need to learn both as Paul says in Galatians 5 which are some the fruits of the spirit. The impatience is fear I'll miss something, and possibly not trusting God. When I went to the retreat, I learned love is "content" so I need to be content with what I am blessed, and let me tell you I'm blessed with a lot.

group things, apple pie, and movies

hi, ya'll!

interesting day:

today I went to eat Chinese with CEF people. Jon, Rachel (his girlfriend, not my sister), Kourtney, Katie, Ray, Joyce, Xander, Havilah, and Chris were there. Kean could not make, but hey he's in Walt Disney world! I also invited a friend of mine. Great guy. I have to admit, I would love to date him, but he doesn't seem so interested, so, I guess friendship it is.

1. I'm only 19
2. He isn't the only guy out there
3. Maybe God doesn't want me to marry?
4. I want to marry before I'm 29, so ten years to go.
5. I want to see voyage of the dawn treader but I can't seem to find people who want to see it with me :) but I'm trying to....
   

(the dumb thing won't let me get rid of the numbers, so, that's why it's there)

I also want apple pie. I thought maybe since I'm doing anything tomorrow, I want to guess stuff to make it.

Until next time....Goodnight and God bless!

alternatives, possibilities (if I spelled that right) and apple pie...

"We can make plans, but the LORD determines our steps"-Proverbs 16:9

2011 is coming. Here's some things I would like to do for 2011

1. have a strong spiritual faith, and keep going to the Loft
2. Help out at club
3. Pray where God leads me for a job (whether CEF or secular)
   
4. transfer to another school
5. love in the way 1st Corinthians 13 challenges us to do
6. Date somebody (not just anybody) praying about that
7. Go to India

I was so bent on not coming to CEF, but when my former boss called me and gave me some alternatives I now don't know what I'm going to do. Praying about it. Speaking of CEF, tomorrow I have a get together with my former co workers except Kean who is in Florida right now. I'm sure he's having a blast.

As for dating, I really want to. I know some great, amazing guys who are so Godly, love kids, and of course make me laugh. Another list of what I want in a guy:

1. Loves the LORD
2. A best friend; someone I can talk to. I'm not into "Omg I love you" "No I love you more!" or mouchy love stories.
3. Someone who makes me smile. Of course I wouldn't mind somebody who encourages me, and has a sense of humor

Pastor Matt used those examples (second parts of 2 and 3 were mine) here are some I'm adding:

4. Must love kids. I love working with them, and thought of becoming a teacher, but I like volunteering, not so much a career thing. I would like it if he would want children too
5. open communication, honesty, and respect. sums that up
6. Helps around the house
7. Cannot drink any alcohol. I have my seizure condition which can cause another seizure if drinking alcohol. Possibly it could be passed on to my kids. But we're not sure.

Anyway, I can't wait for tomorrow and 2011! Tell you later, off for dinner, walmart, and hopefully I can convince my mom we can get apple pie at walmart :) Faith.

A passage to India....

hello!

Today was suppose to be a big snow storm, but God keeps answering my prayers to keep the snow away. Tonight is movie night at the Loft, and I want to bring it's a wonderful life and I hope to find How the Grinch stole Christmas (non animated) I'm hoping we're not watching a Christmas story; I despise that move. It is very offensive.


But the reason for the title is because I've been praying for years to go to India. Ever since I heard the story of Amy Carmichael, I just want to go to India. Amy Carmichael was pure Irish but only had brown eyes (I'm half Irish and I have blue eyes, the kind Amy wanted) and she prayed for blue but instead had brown. Amy became a missionary in India, and helped the little girls escape the Hindu temple. The girls were being sold as slaves or being used for other things. She would put coffee stuff on her skin and with the brown she would like an Indian. By God's grace, she would live in India for 55 years!!!!

But anyway, I would love to spend some there, so, if you read this. Pray for me :) Happy New Years! Faith. :D

Christmas devotional

Immanuel-"God with us"

Sorry I said this before, but it still blows my mind God is with us. Always. Never Leaves. Or Forsakes. Amen!

Anyway, I did a little devotional in the book unafraid by Francine Rivers. It talks about Mary's perspective on Jesus. My goodness this story almost made me cry! I can't imagine being the mother of Jesus. A fourteen year old girl who was not rich is going to marry another man when the Angel comes and tells her about Jesus! Then she becomes pregnant, which she could be killed and is almost broken off with Joseph (divorce their time) but she had amazing faith and probably amazing love for Jesus, the Son of God. She really inspires me to have the faith she did. She knew danger was ahead, but she obeyed! How many times have you and I seen danger and we shutter away? Even when God is with us. My goodness, I hope to the faith this young girl had.....

I am now reading 1st Corinthians 13 for guidance and now exploring the book of 1st John. I am also reading "My utmost for His highest" by Oswald Chambers. Here's something interesting to ponder from his book:

"God evident in the Flesh. This is what is so made profoundly possible for you and me through the redemption of man by Jesus Christ"

God bless and happy new year!

Merry Christmas!

Immanuel-"God with us"

It's amazing to think God is always with us. Not just in the bad times, but in the good times as well. My dad is who a pastor talked about this from Matthew. I don't know if I would have the same faith as Mary did when the Angel came to her.

Last night I read this book unafraid by Francine Rivers. The series is about the lineage of Jesus Christ and why each woman is mentioned. Tamar was married to two of three Judah's sons, and after both were killed he sent her back home. She tricked him as a prostitute and became pregnant giving birth to twins. Then comes Rahab, which I didn't read yet but I want to, she was a prostitute who believed in the LORD, and when the two spies she kept them safe from Jericho guards. Her household was safe and married Salma, and gave birth to Boaz, who married Ruth, a foreigner from Moab, an idol worship country. Her mother in law Naomi, her husband, and her sons (husband of Ruth) came to Moab because Israel was going through a famine. While living there, Naomi's husband and sons died, and because women couldn't work back Naomi was very discouraged even changing her name to "Mara" (bitterness) she decided to go home and after Ruth begged to go with her with the famous line from Ruth "Your God, my God" they went. While Ruth was working in the fields, Boaz noticed her, and Ruth became the great-grandmother of David. Bathsheba was married, slept with David, and became pregnant. David sent her husband to be killed and because of it they lost their first son. She later gave birth to Solomon, a great king. Then several centuries later, we come to Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ, which changed history.

Each book has a bible study I can study, so, I'm going to study the story of baby Jesus, Oswald Chambers "My utmost for his highest" and the book by Francine Rivers. I thought it would be appropriate, even though Christmas is a secular holiday. It's sad atheists argue that they feel excluded when they see a Christmas Tree. People should celebrate Christmas for the right reasons, but Atheists need to leave people alone!

Anyway, onto the secular side of Christmas. Helen, (who is like my grandmother) got me a leather jacket. My dear friend Elizabeth(another mother to me) got me knee socks, a fall/winter/Christmas themed pillow case, a peanut butter milk chocolate Christmas tree from Gertrude Hawk (she works there) and a nativity scene which has my name on it. Another friend, Shelley got me two snowmen which had my name in front of them. I know this sounds arrogant, but I've always loved stuff with my name on it. My sister is safely back from England and is at home. She and her fiance got me a 1930's purse from Bath, U.K. a little Jane Austen wrote when she was thirteen, a little round sugar bowl from Poland, and inside of it was a little Eiffel tower. She also got me a book written by a French Jewish woman who died in Auschwitz. My parents got me a portable CD player, ferrero rocher chocolate with Dunkin Donuts and Itunes gift cards, and chapstick (the Burt's bees) they also got me a green(!) sweater, more knee socks, and slippers. A little boy from my church got me a photo album. A little from my good news club after school program got me this: it had a cross and behind the cross said this : "Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you"

I got my dad a World war Two board game, my mom a robe, and my sister a digital photo frame with a memory card, Helen a gift certificate from Green's restaurant, Elizabeth a applebees gift certificate, and I'll probably take Shelley out for Christmas soon. I also got a white elephant gift at the Loft Retreat, which I wonder I'll do with it since I don't where cowboy hats. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder....

Today we're eating cinnamon rolls, french toast casserole, Stromboli, and maybe some healthy stuff, but I don't know about that....we're going to visit my grandmother, her brother and sister in law. I hope to visit my sister's fiance family and their eccentric neighbor George. Very nice man, but like I said eccentric....I hope to have Chinese food with my co-workers this past summer during our break, I hope to visit some friends, go to the Loft, which I'm praying it doesn't snow Monday night because we're having movie night. Life is the same as it always is....

Well, I have to say Merry Christmas! I honestly can't wait for the New Year, but that's for the blog post on New Years Day.

I will tell about my Christmas theme devotional tomorrow after church!

Until then....God bless, Merry Christmas, and to all a goodnight!

Eve's Christmas

Merry Christmas Eve!

I just got up and I wonder the stuff that goes on around Christmastime. You see, many people view Christmas differently. Some people think literally Jesus was born on Christmas but people aren't sure. All I know is, we must celebrate Jesus no matter what date. Jesus is everything.

I still struggle with the whole CEF. They show love of Jesus to the kids, but they don't seem to show it their employees or co-worker to co-worker. CEF believes in theonomy (basically a church run state) but as we've seen in history it's never worked, except in the Old testament where it was literally run by God not by man. CEF workers need to stop constantly following the rules because we're going to have a weak spot from time to time but God is there for a reason. In my opinion, God would prefer if we looked to Him for guidance, not rules.

The things that makes me laugh is when they say guys can't control themselves, which makes me laugh because that means girls are stronger than boys! Haha, I honestly want to tell somebody who believes it's always the girls' fault that, and see their expression, but I'm mature and won't.

But anyway goodbye and Merry Christmas!

it's been awhile

music: don't want to waste my life- Lecrae
book: a wrinkle in a time, the bible
mood: tired, excited

hey everybody!

it's been awhile since I've been on. Well, the summer was okay. CEF was really hard to work with my co-workers. The kids are great! But CEF seems to be too legalistic and unprofessional. They need to start reading Galatians (amazing book of the bible!) and also take professionalism 101 as a requirement. People can be obnoxious in their faith. There are many things that are unresolved because people unmovable and will not change. Someone once told you can't change the person, only yourself. However, in my opinion nothing really changes unless both people change, not just the one. Both need to make an effort on changing. But that was the summertime, and 2010 is almost over.

Right after I was done with CEF, I started going to Post high at Christ Evangelical Free Church in Strausstown. Post high is a group for people ages 18-25. It's now called Loft: Living out faith and trust, and it's been a great blessing to be there! I've grown so much there. For awhile I thought every Christian was a legalist, but there isn't any of that at the Loft. I've met some great girls there and made some great friendships there. We had our first coffeehouse where we had a musician come in, and it went really well. I went on their retreat this past weekend, and it was great! I got to make breakfast, which was a lot of fun, play different games, went swimming and in the hottub. I also saw the most beautiful sunrise in my life. But the most important thing I learned was to really love people, and to follow 1st Corinthians 13, and I also learned to be careful what type of white elephant gift to get (I got a cowboy hat, which I don't wear hats....) I also piled on one bus seat with six other people, which was funny :D

I've also been attending community college, which was okay. Ugg, I'm never taking Spanish again....I also am applying to Kutztown and Central Penn College, to become a paralegal or a related field. I hope to be married anywhere from sometime after college to the age of 29. I hope to have two boys and two girls and raised them to love Jesus as much as I do. I hope to also find a good church with great biblical teaching (mine is great, but I mean after marrying and what not...)

I also want to go to India badly! Praying Praying Praying


Thanksgiving was great. We went down to Helen (who is like my grandmother I've never had) granddaughter's house and we always have a good time. Josh apologized to me which we've now become friends.

As for dating...umm, well, I'm praying about that....

Christmas shopping is almost done (need to get Stephen's gift yet) but I'm pretty excited Christmas is almost here.

Rachel studied abroad in England this fall semester. She got to go to Bath, Wales (where Stephen proposed to her!) Scotland, Poland, France, and Iceland. She had some trouble coming home because of the weather but God answered our prayers and they came home last night.

Healthwise, I'm doing pretty well. My doctor wanted to take me off, but he left so I've yet to meet the lady doctor and I also don't want to give up driving or swimming

Mom is now the assistant manager at a gas station and man, a psych major would win prizes for working there because the people watching is amazing....

Dad is still a pastor and has been preaching for twenty years!

Rachel is a senior in college and is doing well. Stephen is also doing well.

Blackie (my big fat cat) has been having health problems and we found she had a tumor in her throat. For many years, we did not understand why she had bad breath....

Bear (our dog) limps, but he's okay

Princess (another kitty) is doing well

Well, that's all I can think of but Merry Christmas to everybody and here's a favourite line from a favourite hymn of mine called what child is this?"

"This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
The Babe, the Son of Mary"

God bless and Merry Christmas!

Love, Faith.

moving on....

This is new. This is tough, but this is all I can do....to get away from you.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me and I don't know why, because he just changed our relationship status on facebook. He didn't even talk to me! Oh my....these things are hard....

I could be mad (which I was) and plot revenge but I just want to move with my life and I know God will bring another boy in my life one day or another, but for now, I want to focus on God, Jesus, CEF, and myself, though it would be nice if I met another boy, but he wouldn't a rebound. I would take my time to get to know him and be friends for awhile

Club went well, I do the memory verse review tomorrow, so, hopefully all will go well.

Poka! Vera

CEF, city, country, and chocolate :)

Prevet!

Russian for hello. My friend Anita, who is originally from Ukraine taught me. I met her at training school. So much happened at training school it's hard to remember everything.

CEF went well. I did mess up on word up, but that's okay, it was minor. Tomorrow, I will teach the GO song, missions stories, and Poso Calos. Hopefully, all will go well.

Cities. I went to Hagarstown, MD, and I loved! I hope to work one day in the city as a teacher and do urban missions.

I like the country. It's beautiful, and if God calls me there, I'll serve there, but I want to help boys and girls of cities, because 81% of kids live in cities!


Chocolate has really nothing to do, except I love it, and I really miss oreo cake =]

Pocka! (Goodbye in Russian)

back from training school part 1

training school was something else!

Training school was like another life I had then the one I have now. It was exciting, stressful, frustrating, and fun!

There are many things I'd like to tell you about, but I'm going to tell you the serious stuff first:

This week Pastor Bob talked about Holiness how we are set apart for His purpose, and temptations, and it was the perfect time to hear this message:

I'm having this temptation....and tis bad indeed. Even though, I'm physically away from it, I am emotionally still with my temptation. I've been praying because I don't want to give into my temptation even though I easily could give in, I don't want to. I'm trying to hold on to what I have now and stay far away what seems possibly temporary (or nothing) and trying to stick to a more realistic way of life. This temptation is really, really, really hard, and I'm praying to run (emotionally) as far as I can. I'll talk about the funny stuff later! Faith :)

all things new....

hey everybody!

According to Josh, I needed to update, so, here we go:

Sunday I spoke at my last church, and I had a really great time and got a great support! Praise God for blessing me with all my support raised and a great bonus!

This week I'm only volunteering and with the blue team, which is the youngest boys. I have a boy named J.T. who has ADHD and asbergers. I've been blessed that he's pretty good so far. God is really working in J.T. The other boys just want to play volleyball all the time, lol. I have three Bryces, and are very interesting. One lost his father to cancer, he listens and is very talented in crafts, and loves to play. Another Bryce is very quiet and never looks like he's having fun, but it was nice to see him smile today when the missionary Karen was being silly, but when I interviewed him, he didn't want to become a Christian nor go to church, but I gave him a little booklet and I'm hoping and praying he'll become saved sometime in his life, at least there are Christians who are around. Another Bryce is very sweet, and likes to talk and not pay attention. He's from a rough background, and I'm praying for him and his family.


The others boys include: Michael, a sweet little boy who likes to help me out whenever, and when I asked why you can't go to Heaven he said: "you're bad!" such a cute kid, and will be a good assistant one day. Draiden who loves Miley Cyrus, but doesn't want to meet a entertainment wrestler because "that's nasty." I met Matt today, and he listens and pay attention in the lesson.


Zane, haha very interesting kid. He whines, and I have to yell at him a lot, but he brings me chestnuts, little cookies from his lunchbox, and even brought me a tiger lily. Dramatic, but sweet kid. He wasn't there today, but maybe he'll come back.

Two more days of camp, then TRAINING SCHOOL! I'm pretty excited, and have most of my pacing doneeeee!

Yesterday I hung out with Josh, and I like my boyfriend a lot, and the nice thing is, he likes me for me! I never thought the day would come he'd like me for me, and put my personality over my looks, and that's what I always wanted! =]

Yay, yay, yay! I went and ate Chinese and I really like my fortune cookie:

"A truly great person never puts away the simplicity of a child"


I'll try to update tomorrow!

And it feels so real from the outside......

hey....another lovely update from Faith.......

so excited for camps.....oh my goodness, It's weird I raised my salary before I actual did some work, but I'm blessed I did and have a great bonus!

Tomorrow I have one last meeting with my boss and co workers before actually working, then one last church to speak at, and then Rocky camp!

One of the things I have been putting from my brain to paper is a novel. It's called Faux Fiction. It's a pretty intense story about a young girl's memory, the people around her, and the characters around her.

I've been trying to write it for nearly five years; trying to put it into words, but I'm having a hard time to. I will get it done one day!

The title is from One Republic's Tyrant:

And it feels so real from the outside looking in
And it feels so real from the outside
From the outtttt
From the outtt tyrant
Tyrant tyranttt

patience is a virtue.....

hey, everybody,

The sun's coming outside, but I believe it's going to be gloomy on the inside. Not the house, I mean inside me. I've been struggling to have patience and self control as Paul says in Galatians 5:22-23, which he says are "fruits of the Spirit" and he is right, but they are something I really struggle with immensely. I've been praying about, but I feel like I fail every time I either do or don't have patience. It's hard for me. Before I met Josh, I waited for a boy for five years I gave him all the time in the world to ask me out. He knew and I knew we liked each other, but I gave up on him after seeing him just a couple of weeks, and could of cared less about me. I'm not excusing my impatiences, but it's really a struggle to have patience.

But anyway, I'll be praying about this, and I will try to change for the better, and try to get everything done for today and tomorrow. Then I start CEF.

" I can do everything through him who gives me strength"-Philippians 4:13

joyful....

I am so blessed that I cannot thank Him enough!


Yesterday was amazing! Beautiful weather= beautiful day!

Josh and I went to this place in Hamburg called the pinnacle. It's a seven mile up and down, but there's this beautiful view that's worth the walking. Anyway, we also went into a cave, where the rocks are just a beautiful white shininess about them. While we were sitting on a rock, we told each other we liked each other, and we decided to become official! We are boyfriend and girlfriend! It's so amazing how it all occurred.

My lovely friend Abby went to an open house at Lancaster Bible College, there she met Jeremy Davis, and became facebook friends. I saw he was from Oley (I grew up there till I was 9) and we started talking to each other. He wanted to meet me, and he brought his friend, Joshua along too. Jeremy left us alone, and we started talking to each other, and at after we parted, I knew I liked Josh. After that Josh and I went geocaching, which is lots and lots of fun! Then yesterday was a great day, and I'm so glad we're together. He told me he would of asked me out after he met my parents.

He is kind, polite, intelligent, honest, and funny. He's my best friend now, and I am blessed to say he's now my boyfriend.

I always thought I'd be the lady at 87 with 87 cats, but I'm not going to be. We're going to have our relationship centered around Christ, and we're going to take our time in this relationship.

Yay! I am really excited to see where God is leading us, and I can't wait to see Josh again :)

Anyway, I need to do stuff for CEF and my mum and I are going shopping!

Have a great day, even though it's raining!

Faith

time flies bye

hey followers of Faith's updates, here's another update:

Next week is the start of CEF! Wow, I will be done speaking at churches this Sunday. It's so, so strange how time flies bye. Anyway, today I'm going to do stuff for CEF. For instance: Memorize memory verses, fill out questions for the lessons, finish some paperwork, and read out loud each lesson and missionary story. This Saturday, we have another meeting for CEF, then next Monday is out lovely camp in Rock. I will be a team leader, so, I'm a little nervous about that. I was one before, but I'm hoping I'll be able to shine the light of Christ to the kids, and hopefully have patience with each girl on my team, and I'm hoping for a good assistant too. After packing up the van on Friday, we will be leaving for training school, where we'll be gone till next Saturday. I've been blessed with CEF thus far, and I'm hoping it'll be a great summer. I'll be praying for patience and self control. Hopefully I will have all these fruits of the spirit:


"But the fruits of the Spirit is love, joy,peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law" Galations 5: 22-23

faith, fellowship, food, friendships....

wow, what a tiring but a great day I had!

Today I decided to meet my buddy Crystal, who is usually with YWAM today to hang out. I went to her church, The Lighthouse Church, which is a good church, and what a wonderful sermon! It was about how Jesus healed the blind man (John 9) and how the people questioned whether or not he was blind because of his sin. Pretty amazing chapter. After church, I talked to my co-worker, Chris who spoke there, and he did a great job. Then Crystal, Emily, and I decided to go to Panera Bread, which I'd never been there before. Yummy food. We went to the Berkshire mall, which was fun with some funny moments, then off to Crystal's house where I met the lovely Tallulah, a corgi. Cutest fattest dog I've ever met. Then we went on a walk on this beautiful trail in Auburn, then, went back to her place to eat dinner, go to lighthouse to play volleyball, now I'm home =]

I am blessed by God with all those things titled. It's been an amazing day, and I've loved every single moment of it =]

Until another post, Faith.

should I have faith or be cynical?

As a Christian, I always wonder what is better: blind faith or sour cynicism? The world tells us what we see is believing, but what the things we don't see? For instance, wind? We know it's there, but why don't we question it? Why do we trust to our cars run and fully function? I get frustrated with when the computer or the car doesn't work, but what about God? Should I get frustrated and cynical when it seems like God isn't doing my way? Doing stuff that I least expect? 2009 and 2010 have been totally opposite different years for me: last year I scraped a car, had a hard time with a night I was taking, had my seizure with losing freedom of driving and being in fear all the time, and the experience happening again, and had major problems with work. I was pretty close to becoming cynical for the first time in my life, because God (at least I thought) wasn't there, but it was my humanistic side coming out, and thinking it was myself. But things started changing the better for me in mid year 2009: I met a wonderful lady named Bobbi who had the greatest attitude known to mankind, and it really lifted my spirits. I went to a work camp called Romans 12 where I was blessed with all the different projects and meeting amazing people. As my first college semester was going on, it was pretty good with some bumps, but the speech class really boost my confidence, especially when I got a 93% on a speech which I didn't feel was my best. God was really there 100% But my vision was clouded with hurt pride, insecurities, and fear. In October, I went to a concert at Lancaster Bible College, and the bands Leeland, Brandon Heath, and Francesca Battistelli, which was also very encouraging. Sadly though later in the month, I had a big fight with my boss, and though I said I was sorry, I wish I could of left on better terms, but the past is long gone.

Not to be dramatic, I was scared to death for 2010. What was it going to be like? I was nervous. But during this period I had a job with UPS, which ended in January. I finally drove myself to school. During this period, my sister left CEF, and God urged me to go and join CEF. I never felt so nervous for a job interview, but they hired me, and one of the things I've been doing is speaking at churches. I've been blessed to raise all of it and be in my bonus. In April, I came home one Thursday, and it was a good day, when my parents told me "we need to talk" and I thought to myself: I haven't done anything wrong, nothing I can think of anyway But my parents told I wasn't in trouble, then they told me something I didn't think I'd get till I was older. It was a car! I couldn't and can't believe I have a car. It's bittersweet everything that has been happening in this year. At one point, I questioned God with logic, because everything was going really well, but I know I'll be tested. I know it's coming. I am also going to Romans 12 again, which makes me happy. I'll be one busy girl during the summer!

The reason for the title is because a friend of mine has a book called: God: a biography. It's by a former Jesuit priest, and what I read kind of disgust me. For one thing, he implies God isn't perfect. He says "God isn't a saint, strange to say" and also the Holy Spirit is a "secular ideal" Let me ask you this: would you write a book about God? Where do you start? Where do you finish? Why even write a book at all if He has no beginning and no end? It's also strange these liberal magazines are praising this book, but why would someone do that if they don't believe in God? People are okay with God, but for some strange reason, and I've experienced this, people get hostile when you mention Jesus Christ. It's a very strange spiritual war we are fighting.

I try to be faithful to God, even if things are bad, and one of the things I don't want to fall into is doubt and cynicism, because I'm saying to God, "It's not enough, and I'm not happy" I am blessed honestly, and I wish I could thank Him, but words are not enough. God just tells me to serve Him during the summer and beyond, which I am praying about anyway.

I've learned though, when God closes doors, He opens others.

"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men revere Him" Ecclesiastes 3:14. It's amazing to see somebody who is really depressed still trust God.

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him" James 1:12. I wasn't under a persecution trial, but I was under a trial, and because I persevered God has blessed me. It didn't come over night, but it came, and that's what counts.


I am going to try to have faith....even in the bad of times.

Okay, off to do stuff for CEF. Until another post.....Faith.

yay it's Friday!

hey you,

just another update from Faith. Today's pretty hot today, and I'd love some rain to come in. For most of my life, I love rain. I'll stand in rain and be soaking wet, even if it's cold. Today I'll be working on stuff for CEF and helping out for the bazaar at my church. The bazaar is when we sale bake goods and stuff for lunch for church. The lady who is like my grandmother, Helen made pot pie, and I had some; it's really good!

Speaking of CEF, I got more support, and I was blessed to find out a lady decided to give me a whole week of support! Praise God, for He's been really faithful to me, and has open doors for me! I know my job requires a lot of work, but at least God will help me out. I can't fathom the fact He has blessed me so much with everything in my life, and I wish I could thank Him in some way, besides in words. As for speaking, I have one more church, a church is going to send me a check, and another church I don't have to speak at is sending me support. It blows my mind with how much I got :) I hope to go to Greece next summer, and I will have to raise for both CEF in Schuylkill and for Greece, and that will come to $6,000 altogether, but I know if God wants me to go, He'll help me out.

Anyway, I need to looks at lessons, keep memorizing memory verses, write out thank you cards, and find prayer warriors.

Okay, have a good day everybody! :)

nature

hey ya'll!

Just wanted to tell you I had a great day!

Today Josh and I went geocaching, which sounds boring, but it's a lot of fun! It was hot, but a beautiful day as we went through the woods, it was nice to see just nature. Nature is a beautiful thing...Josh and I talked about how it's amazing God created the Earth in seven days! It's amazing, because when I plant my favourite flower which is daffodils, I have to plant the bulbs in October, then they come up around March/April. It's amazing how God is good with every detail, but He waited till He calls His special creation: man. It's pretty amazing how nature is so beautiful and even innocence, and yet He loves us! I know He loves His creation, but He really loves us, even though we sin. It's amazing how the littlest details come together in creating a person...in His image. It's pretty sweet! I love nature, and how serene it is. It's so peaceful, and interesting too. Josh and I found clams today, which is odd, because the river isn't salty. My legs are sore and scratched but those are temporarily, memories last forever :)

paradoxical

haha, love the title I have up there (explain later)

Anyway, hello to you all, just giving an update for you guys

I am going to Cabela's again, and hopefully if the weather holds up, we can go hiking. Now, the problem is....I have nothing else to say, except I'm praying for my Bishop's family, because Bishop Kevin passed away. It's so sad he passed, but he led a great life, and most people don't expect these things. Death is scary, because what happens when you die? I know in my case, I'll go to Heaven because I believe in Jesus Christ (which you can too!) but still, away from loved ones till they come up to Heaven (if they so believe)....but I know I'd be healed of every scar, everything my body has gone through, which is nice, because I know in Heaven, I will never have the chance to have another seizure ever....anyway, I need to do some stuff before I go out today.

My title means that I would of said "I have no title" but yet there is one....paradoxical, which is my favourite word :)

We need each other...

Hey you guys!

Some thoughts and struggles I'm going through:

I've always loved people. I love hanging out and meeting new people. But sometimes I really hate people because I love them, I know strange. I am very sensitive to point where if somebody doesn't say on facebook or public, it makes me sad.

Last year was rough. Most of you know it, and I had several friends who left me hanging there. Not even once did I get asked "How are you?" now, they still don't. Another one of my friend's was writing on my other friends, and I write on her's how I wanted her to write on mine, and she was like "oh, have a good day." Another friend of mine left me for another friend, and we haven't been friends since. I struggle with a deep sense of a lot of acquaintances, but no real friends.

However that's not always the case:

My friend Kourtney and I have become really close in the last couples we've known each other. Since she worked with Rachel, I got to see her a lot, while they hung out at my house. Now, I go down to her house, meet Levi, and have a good time. It's pretty sweet. I also attended a young adult youth group, where people were friendly and not catty, and it was great.

I have some friends at school I hang out with. Two in particular are Pete and Judy. Pete and I have a strange, but interesting friendship. Judy and I are good friends, and sadly, I have classes tuesdays and thursdays, and she has classes Monday and Wednesday.

My buddy I haven't seen since late March is Crystal. I can't wait to see her Sunday and have a good time, and I'm going to attend youth group there, which is pretty sweet.


Elizabeth has been another mother to me ever since I was 13, and I am blessed to know her. I realize there many great people, but I can't write about them all, because I realize I am blessed!

There are great people around me, but because I kind of live in the middle of nowhere, it's hard to go places. But I know many great people, and yes, as a human being, I focus on the dark gloomy stuff, instead of the blessings God has blessed me. I do wish a lot the people I knew who are very smart, funny, and talented would be interested in me, but I guess life runs, right? But I am glad God has blessed me with people and I can't wait to meet people in the summer and fall.

The title is from Sanctus Real's "We need each other" pretty sweet song and band.

It's beautiful day in the neighborhood!

hello peoples!

Just another edition of Faith's updates.

Yesterday was good. We went to Olive Garden where the food was rich, but good. We went to best buy to check out computers and refrigerators, then we went to Sam's club where on a flat screen TV we watched Alice in Wonderland. We don't want one, but it's pretty cool to watch.

Then Mum and I went to Wal-mart, but when we came home we found out my Dad's boss, Bishop Kevin died in a horrible car accident. R.I.P Bishop Kevin. Anyway, I'm praying for his family and everyone he knew around him. His funeral is going to be big, because he came from a big church, and pastors and the like will be there. When I die, I hope my funeral will be a happy one and people I love will be there.

On the agenda today is I go to a meeting with parents and adviser. I don't like going to meetings or doctor visits with my Dad, because as much as I love him, he can become very rude and it makes me cringe while we're there. Anyway, hopefully this meeting is short and we can be done with it. When I get home, I'll work on my stuff for CEF, and then I guess read? There's nothing on the television, everything is done except the summer shows that are coming up soon. I like white collar, and Psych.

I hope to also to download music. Possibly some Alicia Keys, "I see you" by Leona Lewis, "By Your side" by Tenth Avenue North, and "Beauty will rise" by Steven Curtis Chapman, and other stuff if I have enough space.

I'm pretty excited for tomorrow. I get to see Josh, someone I just met, who's a cool cat. We're going to Cabela's, then go hiking if the weather is nice, which they're predicting it will be.


Oh, it's a beautiful day today! If only this meeting didn't have to happen today. Well, such as life, right?! Well, I'm off to eat breakfast, and hopefully I'll have a good day today :)

This is our hope......

Hey ya'll

I'll be busy tomorrow, so, I'm posting for now.

I'm going with my Dad on a Dad and Daughter date, and we're going to my favourite: Olive Garden! It's always a good treat to go there.

I can't believe how camps are coming up soon and how God keeps opening doors for me. Honestly, I feel blessed that words cannot express my gratitude for Him.

Last year was a rough year. I have non epileptic seizure disorder, and I had two of them last year, and I went 10 months without driving. You never realize how driving is important! When New Year's eve came, I became nervous because I didn't what to expect, but then God called me into CEF, and it's great to see where God is leading me....

The reason for the title of the post is from the song "Beauty will rise" by Steven Curtis Chapman. He's been through so much in his life, and I love this song very much:
"
I can hear it in the distance
And it's not too far away
It's the music and the laughter
Of a wedding and a feast
I can almost feel the hand of God
Reaching for my face to wipe the tears away
You say it's time to make everything new
Make it all new"

"This is our hope
This is a promise
This is our hope
This is a promise"

"It will take our breath away
To see the beauty that He's made
Out of the ashes, out of the ashes"

"Out of these ashes
Beauty will rise
And we will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of this darkness
New light will shine
And we'll know the joy that's coming in the morning
In the morning
Beauty will rise...."

Don't you think it's a great song?! I love it.


Anyway, God bless you all, and I hope everyone has a great day tomorrow

Religion in American back then and now part 1

'ello, poppets!

Today is Memorial Day Monday. It was created after the Civil War, but was called Memorial Day after Word War I.

I was suppose to go down to Helen's (like my grandmother) and have a barbecue, but sadly she is sick, and we're going to do it another time.

Stephen (my sister Rachel's boyfriend) is up for today. His family was suppose to come up too, but since the barbecue was canceled, they can't.

A friend of mine on facebook said he isn't proud of American. He thinks we should go back 100 or even 50 years ago! But there were many problems back then too.

For one thing, black people had very little rights, and were harassed by the strong Klu Klux Kan.

Women could not vote, work, or even divorce their abusive husbands who would do awful things to them. Women were always blamed, and had to remain faithful to their husbands, even if their husbands weren't.

The lists goes on, but I want to focus on these two things.....

A lot of the stuff that happened the church let people get away with. There was no compassion, no love, but strict laws. The church was very similar to the Pharisees were in the New Testament. It's good to follow God's law, but they based going to Heaven on that very thing. They didn't understand Jesus was the promised Messiah who came to die for us.

I don't like the fact when Christian skip most parts of the Bible. May people focus on the strict rules of the Old Testament, but think about Jesus who broke a lot of the laws the Pharisees stuck to. He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. He cleansed exiled people with leprosy, and in John 8: 1-11:

"But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before and said to Jesus, "Teacher, woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis of accusing Him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no condemn you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

We could of have done that back then. Helped women out being abused or wanting to change. But we didn't. We let husbands hurt their wives in many ways, and that was wrong. Why though? The Bible clearly says we need to help people in need. I mean if we try to live like Christ, then why not forgive the woman caught in adultery? What about the man? Where was he?

How come the church back then ignored it? Why claim one thing, and totally ignore the other things......

As Edmund Burke once said:

"Evil triumphs when good men do nothing"

To be continued......

new blog

hey, everybody!

This is my new blog where I'm suppose to update you guys on what's going in life. So, far this is what is happening:

Memorial Day Weekend! Thank you troops for keeping us free!

I've been with Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF) since March and I love it! I need to learn five lessons, five days worth of missionary story, and I think ten memory verses. I've been speaking at churches and have raised all my support, and will start officially June 14th. I go to a camp, then off to a week of school, then back home again.

I also am going to Romans 12, where we do volunteer projects around the county

I'm also checking out colleges and trying to see where to go.

Tonight, we go to Helen's (like my grandmother) to set up a barbecue tomorrow. She wants us to clean off the patio (since it's dirty anyway) and move the patio stuff to the patio

My parents have talked about putting our dog down. He is 14 years old, and sadly he might have diabetes and renal failure, and we just don't have the money to fix everything. I am really sad, because once he's gone, he's gone. My Mom did say maybe in the fall getting another dog, but we'll see.


Anyway, I will update more, but I'm not really thinking of anything, but I will end with this verse:

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an
example to the believers in speech, in life,
in love, in faith and in purity"- 1 Timothy 4:12