The Retreat

hi!

Well, the retreat was great!

Anyway, it was a stressful day trying to get bagel thins; I had to stop at three grocery stores!

But overall, I really enjoyed the retreat. It was refreshing to get away from all the crazyness of life!

I got to meet some awesome people as well from another church.

But I also learned more about God's grace. Sometimes, I don't let it in my life, but I should; without it, I'd be a horrible mess.

So, I am slowly learning to let His Grace back into my life!

But anyway, I feel tired again. I went to bed last night at 9!

Something wrong with me!

I finished Harry Potter Book #4 and watched Harry Potter movie #2.

Tomorrow starts week 8 of school. Only three more weeks to go!

-Faith.

Daylight

hi!

Well, it has been an interesting past week.

From Friday to Sunday, I spent it with my sissy and brother in law. We had Ethiopian food which is pretty good except it has spongy bread. We had "tiny" shot cups of coffee then.

Saturday night, we saw "Silver Linings Playbook." It was really good and I wish Bradley Cooper would win.

Sunday, we went to church and during Sunday school, the kids were crazy!

Then we had brunch where we had yummy food at this cute little cafe!

But the whole weekend, my sister insisted on trying to help better understand sex. She gave me this Christian newlywed book and all it did was scare the crap out of me.

Mostly because of the pre sex. But that's all I'm saying. Right now, I am thankful for not being married because I am NOT ready for sex.

My biggest fear is my hubby will want a Megan Fox....and if you know me, I am nothing like her!

Thankfully, this weekend, I have the retreat. No worries about boyfriends; there's several nice guys but thankfully, none of them think I'm attractive!

I get to go snow tubing all day Saturday!

I don't know why but I am missing Nathan tonight. I miss talking about Harry Potter, sound track trailer music, politics, religion, world mythology, family, and films.

The girls still think he's gay and a d-bag but I try to explain he just doesn't know what to do with ladies. They saw him at dinner one night and he apparently didn't hi. Probably because he didn't remember who they were, lol.

Tomorrow night, the young adult group at school is having a "gladiator" event. I am soo excited! Then Friday will come and I get to go away!

Okay, it's late and I need to look up more crap for class tomorrow!

Byez!

-Faith.

Begin Again

Hey!

Well, for V-Day, I am doing well.

I had some bad not-related V-day dreams last night but when I woke up today, I saw the girls had given me a card. It was very sweet of them.

Last night, I got a candy bar from Jesus. It had a paper heart covered saying "I love you, signed Jesus"

It was yummy!

I also have been getting candies from my friends Heidi and Erin, which are yummy with lots of sugar!

Anyway, I am very blessed and I seem to forget when I am sad, but not today. I am happy for all the couples who celebrate V-Day one day or another. It makes me excited when that day happens.

But for now, I am excited for my day today and cannot wait to spend time with other Christians, eating dinner, having a good time, relaxing!

Then tomorrow is Rachel's where I will Ethopian food and go contra dancing Saturday!

Hopefully, we can watch a movie too!

I now am waiting for my wash to get dried, then go for lunch where my crazy friends will be.

I have a midterm online and one tomorrow. I cannot wait till all my homework is done!

Okay, have a wonderful day today and I hope if you are dating somebody, you cherish them besides today!

Also, listen to Begin Again by The Piano Guys. Awesomeness!

Bye!

Faith.

Riverside View

Hi!

What I said about Nate, totally not true. I just have an wild imagination!

Anyway, I convinced my parents to go to Duke's. Usually, we go to the diner but I convinced them otherwise.

I had the bacon cheeseburger, Mom had the prime rib sandwich, and Dad had three sliders!

At first, my Dad didn't want to go because I told him my last meal there was $15; but I also got that apple pie in the mug :)

But when the waitress found out it was mom and dad's first time there, she gave them a 10% discount!

then Mom gave me her food to take home and it was sooo yummy!

You might think I am crazy that I would go somewhere where I went on a date but that means I'd avoid Olive Garden too.

Also, sorry for being the everlasting hypocrite. For being a whiner. For being stupid!

But I am excited for this weekend. Food, movies, and dancing, what else does a girl need and want?!

Off to finish homework! Cannot wait till it's Friday!

Faith.

Well, if the sky can crack...

hi!

Well, last night was kind of stressful.

Last week, this random guy was ringing our doorbell, claiming it was the wrong, finally he's stopped but now,  TWICE last night, people were ringing our doorbell!

Last term, we might have had the door bell rung....three times? Twice by the RA so that doesn't really count.

Anyway, the first ring, I look out the peep hole to see it's someone I know who needs a ride. It's almost 10pm at night, so, of course, NO!

But I started connecting the pieces together.  I realized I had seen the person I know on his bike about 15-20 minutes before hand, then he came to my door!

I realized it was a prank. Someone I know, decided to be mean and send the person to the door!

When I realized the connection, I was not happy. It might seem far fetch but I think I know who did it.

I don't have the proof, just the logic. You see, Nathan use to offer rides to this mutual person we know and Nathan stopped it. However, I wouldn't be surprised if the friend stopped by his door, then told the friend to go to my door.

I know Nathan doesn't want to hang out with me, so, I think it was a prank of sorts. But I don't have the proof, just the motive. I could ask the friend if he did see Nathan, but I don't know if that would help or not.

Well, I did send an awkward "haha, haha" email to Nate but I did say that it might be awkward and possibly not true. Most people would laugh it off, but it is possible Nate was being a jerk.

I almost put a sign on the door "No Nate's allowed" but there's only 200 students and we know most of each other.

In other news, I am excited to see Mom and Dad today for lunch!

Byez!

Faith.

Catch My Breath

Hi!

It was weird waking up on a Monday. The last time I came to school on a Sunday was orientation which was four months ago!

I am glad I did not hang out with Nathan. Honest! My world professor is making us read this Indian story that is 20-30 pages long, where we have to answer odd number questions 1-29, we have to have four posts about it and other random stuff 70+words each!

I am taking a break tonight to work on my Administrative Law Quiz. You see, I was suppose to take it Friday but due to the bad weather, I had to leave home (school home) which however did not come till 3pm. The girls rubbed it in.

I am also back early because of the bad weather which didn't happen here but mama said it happened there.

Mum and Dad are coming tomorrow; I am sooo excited to see Rachel and Stephen. I will eat Ethopian Food, go Contra dancing, and possibly see either Silver Linings or Harry Potter #1

Anyway, I need to go!

Goodnight and I will see you tomorrow!

Faith.

All is fair in love and war....

Hi!


Anyway, I realize the blog etiquette: not to be personal, not to be sad, just be happy all the time!

However, life is life. I will however, change my behavior in my blog, but not only there, but in real life as well.

I am feeling good. I just went to church where I heard the sermon on 1st Corinthians 13. I look it as the deepest man (everybody) can find: God's love. Many people think God is a big meanie who doesn't care but far from it.

He could have left Adam and Eve go down to Hell; He could have given them bigger punishments, but He didn't. He let Jesus die on the cross for everybody.

But people seem to refuse to look at the many places where Jesus, Paul, and John, where they claim love is the greatest. Even if we love God but hate the person next us, we really don't love God then!

Instead they look at our flaws as Christians. We are all fallen human beings, and instead of judging each other, we should LOVE each other!

Let's put politics aside; there's a greater need besides who should run the country. We have totally messed up "love" in general. Ever since the 60's, Love has never been the same.

We throw the word "Love" as much as much as we drink water.

My Mom always said not to love "things" because they don't love you back. You can't buy someone's love with gifts. People younger than me cannot love another.

The worse type of love (in my opinion) is this: one sided, especially with boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.

99.9% of the time, girls will say "I love you" on FB and guys won't say a thing, then there's a breakup.

However, there's the couple they're madly in love with each other and don't need to write on each other's FB.

But again, I know there is the deep love. I am pretty sure one day I'll be married but I'll probably older when that happens. The average marriage age is 27 but I think for 80-90% of the Christian population, I think it's probably 22-25.

But right, I am focusing on God's love. Not because it'll bring a guy faster but because His love IS perfect!

Okay, bye now! I have to leave for school today because of the bad weather tomorrow!

Faith.

Try

Hi!

Work was crazy! A lot of rude people; more than usual, haha!

Anyway, I am done for two weeks which will be nice since I get to see Rach and Stephen, eat Ethiopian food, possibly watch Harry Potter #1 or Silver Linings, and go contra dancing!

Then at the Post High retreat, we're going snowtubing!

SOO EXCITED for that! I can't wait to get sore and wet!

Anyway, I recently said that I was happy I was in the friend zone but people thought I meant I was having a pity party, degrading myself, or drawing attention to myself. I didn't mean it at all. I meant that I find the friend zone liberating because I don't have to be worried about what guys think about me!

It's relaxing, I can joke, insult, and have fun with the guys. It's freedom!

I realize that guys aren't attracted to me. Rachel can deny it, but it's true. Guys at Post High make it obvious that they don't like you and find other people to date. Nathan made it obvious and many other guys have made it obvious.

I pretty much have to have an asteroid coming my way in order for a guy to pay attention to me!

Seriously!

Anyway, the title is from Pink's awesome song "Try":

"Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone's bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die

You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try!" 

I am doing that. I am moving on and trying!

Okay, goodnight!

Faith. 

Miss Independent Oh Snap McPants!

Hey!

I am feeling better. I came home last night because of the snow, which doesn't seem to exist!

But I work tonight (possibly till really late!) then I work tomorrow 10-5!

I accidentally got the wrong Harry Potter and I created the expression "Oh Snap McPants!"

But anyway, I am SOOOOOOOOO excited to see Rach and Stephen! I get to go Contra Dancing (Pride and Prejudice dancing, oh yeah!) then in two weeks I get to go snow tubinggggggggg!


I am SOOOOOOO excited today that I wish I wasn't going to work!

In other news, my professor and I were arguing on Dragons. I want a pet Dragon but sadly, they're not adorable, but really evil!


Okay, I am too hyper and I need to write  100+ words what I have learned about Norse Gods. I always KNOW Loki is handsome! ;)

Bye!

Faith.

Keep My Distance

Hi!

Today has been pretty good. Sadly, I have to leave today because of the snow but I am excited to be home because I won't be home for another two weeks afterward.


I went through stages of "grief" not like death but similar:

Hysteria
Calm
Anger
Sad


But I am slowing accepting the fact I am forever stuck in the friendship zone.

However, two points: a friend made the point I shouldn't want to go through guy to guy to find the guy who will love as who I am. Another friend made the point that the friendship zone is a safe place until the guy who meets me won't see me as a friend and won't put me there.

I am excited for that day. Most guys treat me like I don't exist or like crap. However, besides my Dad and brother in law, there are guys who treat me well.

Anyway, I need to move and accept the facts of how I am not one of those girls that all the guys love, even the Christian guys always have one girl they like.

I finally finished Harry Potter #3! But Oh Snap McPants, Book #4 is 700+ pages!

Okay, talk to you later! I am feeling restless now.

Faith.

Chi Li can kick butt

Hi!

I am feeling a little better. After going to the grocery store, getting laundry done, doing some world mythology homework, getting my American Novels homework done for the week, hanging out with friends, eating Olive Garden leftovers, and reading Harry Potter (not all in that order) I feel much better.

I wish I was one of those hardcore feminists who do not need men in their lives. I think logical people and hardcore feminists have better lives than needy, romantic females like me. They seem more content with their lives and do not care for anything else.

However, logical people do not look at life as emotional people do. Logical people see everything as a plan;  an emotional person looks at things at the moment and throws the plan out the window based on their moods.

But I have always asked the question: what's wrong with me? When I should be asking what's wrong with them?

You see, I dress nicely, I work, I get good grades, I am not afraid of making fun of myself, I am getting more confident and confident, I have a mind of own, I love a good adventure, I have a sense of humor, I can take care of myself, and if you're a Christian, I love Jesus. So what's missing?!

Two conclusions:

1. The dreaded friendship zone. Like the prisoner of Azkaban, the friendship does not walls or actual cells to keep us chained up. It's simply when a man makes up his mind, that's it. No, ands, or ifs buts, simply "NO"
2. The light-bulb effect. Like Gru says in Despicable Me, "Light-Bulb" in his funny accent, that's how men work too. I read an article from boundless.org where it described men being able to commit but as easily as women do. It's simply a flip of the switch.

I feel for guys anyway, it has to be almost instantaneous! People might think the saying "love at first sight" is not true but the "you're not in the friendship zone at first sight" does happen a lot.

But anyway, Chi Li is an old Chinese myth where a woman had to be sacrificed to a huge serpent to keep the peace, but Chi Li, volunteered, risked her life, and saved the villages from this terrible monster.

I wish I was like her and Mulan. They wanted to do what was best for their families and they were blessed because of it. They didn't need men to help them; they were the stronger ones.

I am going to try think logically more often. I know having the peace of Jesus is the best way to go, but I need to learn not to fall so hard for a guy. Someone who doesn't miss me now, someone who never visits me, someone who doesn't want to hang out with me as often. He's content with his life now. He doesn't need me.

Anyway, Lent starts soon and I am giving talking about Nathan and seeing him, which isn't hard since he never leaves his townhouse.

Though, it will be hard not to think about him but I will try with prayer and learn to have more self control. I'm going after sexy beast at our cafe! lol joking!

Bye!

Faith.

Two Steps from Hell

Yep, that was my date last night.


Anyway, the girls decided to dress me all up but it didn't work. When Nathan first saw me, I saw he was nervous; more nervous than last time.

We ended up getting lost twice till we go to go to Olive Garden. It was fun and we were laughing, but it wasn't till after we left the restaurant, where I dreaded, dreaded those words.

"I don't know how to put it" my heart sunk when he said but he said say so kindly that he didn't want a relationship nor had ever been one. I almost went on a rant about my past relationship and in general but I kept my mouth shut.

On the way home, he played music from this band "Two Steps from Hell" where they do music for soundtracks like Harry Potter, Hugo, the Dark Knight, then he stopped playing to ask me a random question.

I have to admit, there were tears in my eyes on the way back to the townhouse, but he made me laugh. After dropping me off, he asked if he was seeing me tomorrow (meaning today) and I said yes,

He will see me today, but I probably won't talk to him. I cried my eyes out last night and I need to accept the fact that he doesn't like me.

Remember, guys have that on/off switch. His is off.

At least, he was kind about it. He is very kind and gentleman like, even funny. I still laugh at the times where we had fun.

But I realized something; I had my hair straightened and he liked it better; I won't straighten my hair all the time, so maybe it's a good thing we're not together.

Anyway, after crying, I prayed to the LORD for strength. What a kind God He is, because He is with always; even after death, He will be with me. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway.

I keep fortune cookies (not the actual cookie, lolz) and I know they're not real but here's what one said:

"Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better." I realize I cannot make Nathan like me; to take me out of the friendzone, but I know one day I will meet a guy who will not put me in the friendzone. I wish I knew him now but God only knows when I will meet him. It could be today, tomorrow, or not for several years.

I am excited for the next three weekends: this weekend I go home but the next two weekends are amazing!

I get to see Rachel and Stephen, yay!

LOFT winter retreat where I get to go snow tubing and get to meet new people (NO, I am NOT meeting my future husband there!)

But I take comfort in the fact I have family and friends who love me. A Savior who died for me, and a LORD who created me!

"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning" Psalm 30:5.

I pray that I can trust the LORD always and be thankful for Him even when I am happy!

Anyway, off to do stuff and just try to get more homework done!

Bye!

Faith.

A Late Night Spook

Hi!

Well, my housemates have become more insane lately. They were trying to spook me at the front door but they failed because beforehand, they whispered so loudly, I figured out what they were doing.

So, tomorrow night, I get to go on another date with Nathan. We're going to Olive Garden (hopefully the weather gets better) where he has never been so I hope he likes it. I hope he likes me :)

I completed some homework mostly for American Novels; I am actually done for the week; I have no desire for Mythology though the homework and discussion is better than a movie assignment and an creation exam :)

As for Ad Law, I like it but at the same time hate it. Mostly because she is nice but she always calls on you and is really slow.

Criminal Procedures is okay, but honestly my favourite class has to be American Novels. I thought it would be my hardest class, but with only two discussions post a week, a little 2-3 paragraph assignment, a three question quiz, and one term, it's an amazing 400 level class!

I am really excited for Legal Research. I am excited for this term to be SOO over! It has been going so slow....the food at the caf gets worse, my housemates are getting crazier, but the friends are better!

Anyway, goodnight and hopefully I won't be a nervous nelly like I was last time!

-Faith.

Appreciation in the Early Spring

Hi!

Well, things are complicated with Nathan. I asked him to go to DD which less than a mile from my townhouse (last minute, I was craving Donuts) and he said he appreciated the invite!

I was a little upset, but knowing what type of guy he is, he probably didn't like the fact I wanted to do soo last minute!

Anyway, I did see him yesterday, where he almost missed me but when I said hi, he smiled at me. Oh, it made me smile too. I cannot wait to take this guy to Olive Garden!

As I have said before, I love the Chicken Peach dish :). It isss so good. Nathan says he likes to eat what's familiar but I told him they have Chicken Parm and Alfredo.

They have/had a new dessert which was like a pudding bread but if they don't have it and I am still hungry, I will get the tiramusu.

I worked last night from 5-7. It was an easy shift, however, my one co-worker is...so... obnoxious!

It got to a point where my one co-worker was in a bad mood, and I told she was in a bad mood. He said she seemed fine, but at point when I told him to be quiet, she said "if I were you, I'd take her advice."

I told him at one point, it wasn't even funny anymore. He use to be fine but lately, he has been defiant to a point where everybody yells at him for EVERYTHING! He use to fling rubber bands at everyone (except the bosses of course, lolz) and now he starts hiding glasses on people!

But, he might be leaving in a month. Another co-worker is transferring to another store, another one got a higher promotion at another store, and another wanted a job closer to school. But thankfully, we got a girl who applied to our store earlier but since there weren't any openings, she went to the other store but she is coming back with us. Then we hired a lady from our church who will work possibly not many hours but enough to fill the void.

At my job, it's hard to keep people because it's just minimum wage. Irony is, people complain about lack of jobs but the stores always have jobs.

Granted, it doesn't pay well, customers are a pain, the District Adviser is buddies with Professor Snape, and they don't allow breaks, but for the most I like it. It's close to home, it helps me for now for spending money, and the customers are mostly friendly, and if they are not, you just get what they want and they're out the door.

However, once internship #1 comes around, I don't think I'll ever be home simply because it will be hard to work and come home.

After that, I might a job closer to school. The thing is, it's hard to get a job that works with your school schedule. Plus, I might look for ways to volunteer next term so I can get my hours in which might be 75 if the 25 don't transfer over to the bachelor's degree!

I am excited for next term. I cannot wait till Mythology is over and I get to take a Legal Research class! Something I love doing!

Tomorrow, I have church, then possibly might go out for lunch, then go to the Superbowl my post high group. Overall, a good day!

Then Monday I go back to school, then Tuesday, I go out to Olive Garden with my favourite guy (besides, Dad and Stephen) Nathan :)

Okay, need to get ready for work!

-Faith.

PS. There might be early Spring!